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because it was real
Aug. 9th, 2015 07:41 pmKili doesn't know the first thing about dates or how to go about making a first one good. As far as he understands, it's a method of courting that involves dinners and romantic outings, among other things, but such dates had no place in the Ered Luin (nor under Thranduil's rule in Mirkwood, he would imagine), so in planning one for Tauriel, Kili had found himself at a bit of a loss.
He'd dared not go to Fili for help, not when he'd desired more than relentless brotherly mockery, and so he'd chosen Beth because she is in a happy relationship with someone of her own world and also, she has been an excellent friend to him, one of the best he's made in the city. Both truths had made his decision to ask her for advice seem perfectly valid, and he's glad now that he had because that is how he's ended up here.
Tauriel loves the stars, Kili knows that from the way she'd once described them so delicately--
They are memory.
--and Beth had recommended a place in Darrow called a planetarium. There, he'd met a kind fellow called Tim, who'd agreed to assist in letting Kili into a room where the image of the stars would span the great lengths of the ceilings and also where Kili would have Tim set up a picnic of sorts with food from Derek's truck while Kili is gone to collect Tauriel.
All of this had earned Beth's approval, and Kili only hopes now that it will earn that of his love. He cannot express beyond what he already has just how much his heart yearns for her, how desperately he'd needed to see her live on Ravenhill even if it meant his own death, but he can start here. Dwarrows do only love once, he's been reminded, but Kili's heart has belonged to Tauriel for one lifetime already. He has no trouble imagining another with her, as long as she'll continue to have him, no matter how quickly or slowly her feelings may grow.
With a deep breath and an urging away of nerves that he finds terribly annoying, Kili knocks on Tauriel's door, hoping against hope that everything about the evening goes according to plan.
He'd dared not go to Fili for help, not when he'd desired more than relentless brotherly mockery, and so he'd chosen Beth because she is in a happy relationship with someone of her own world and also, she has been an excellent friend to him, one of the best he's made in the city. Both truths had made his decision to ask her for advice seem perfectly valid, and he's glad now that he had because that is how he's ended up here.
Tauriel loves the stars, Kili knows that from the way she'd once described them so delicately--
They are memory.
--and Beth had recommended a place in Darrow called a planetarium. There, he'd met a kind fellow called Tim, who'd agreed to assist in letting Kili into a room where the image of the stars would span the great lengths of the ceilings and also where Kili would have Tim set up a picnic of sorts with food from Derek's truck while Kili is gone to collect Tauriel.
All of this had earned Beth's approval, and Kili only hopes now that it will earn that of his love. He cannot express beyond what he already has just how much his heart yearns for her, how desperately he'd needed to see her live on Ravenhill even if it meant his own death, but he can start here. Dwarrows do only love once, he's been reminded, but Kili's heart has belonged to Tauriel for one lifetime already. He has no trouble imagining another with her, as long as she'll continue to have him, no matter how quickly or slowly her feelings may grow.
With a deep breath and an urging away of nerves that he finds terribly annoying, Kili knocks on Tauriel's door, hoping against hope that everything about the evening goes according to plan.
He supposes he could have gone to Tauriel.
Walking back toward Candlewood, Kili wonders why, indeed, he'd chosen to text his brother (Time for a quick chat?) this evening when he knows very well what will come of the conversation, which is to say nothing but overreactions and Thorin-like huffs of frustration. Courage isn't the only thing either of them had inherited from their uncle, after all. Kili can already anticipate Fili's reaction when he walks through the door, a casual smile in greeting that will quickly give way to comically widened eyes at the sight of the blood soaking through Kili's torn clothing.
The wound isn't dire, though Kili has a fairly skewed vision of dire now that he's already been killed once, a mere cut to his side that had been a result of his own foolishness. He'd left his apartment this evening on what he'd convinced himself would be a lovely, quiet stroll, though he'd armed himself with one knife in each boot and another attached to his belt. He would have brought his bow and arrow but that, he'd decided, would be less justifiable.
He'd come across, as he'd privately hoped, a certain bit of a panic in an alleyway as he'd neared Petros Park--a vampire attacking a young, blonde woman who had reminded him very much of Beth, aside from her muffled cries for help as the creature had aimed to sink its fangs into her neck. As he plans on telling his brother, he'd had no choice but to intervene. He's only gone wrong briefly, taking his eyes off his opponent with his knife wielded in front of him to check on the poor woman, and the vampire had wrenched it from his hand before parrying forward with a swipe of its wrist.
Kili hadn't cried out, for which he is proud, but even after he'd pulled his second knife from his boot to dispose of the creature, he must now admit that he feels just a bit affronted that the woman hadn't even stayed long enough to thank him for his help. He'd been wounded in her name, after all, a name he doesn't even know. He'd taken one look at the cut, grimacing at the sight, and decided that in spite of his stubborn urge to ignore it, the wound needed care.
It comes as no surprise to him that Fili is the first he'd go to for this sort of thing, his brother had always been the one to mend his lesser wounds in the Ered Luin or fetch Oin for the ones he could not properly dress on his own. Their mother, though fretting, would allow it without much other fuss, if only because in his younger years, Kili would screech and writhe unless he'd been under the attentive care of his older brother. Still, he thinks as he waits for the elevator to take him to their floor, he could have gone to Tauriel and kept mum about this entire incident.
But he'd promised no more lies and so, he walks through the door, smiling from ear to ear to distract from the primary reason he's entered so hastily.
"Not busy were you, Fee?" he asks cheerfully, unbuckling his belt and letting it fall loose to the floor, though he makes no effort to hide his wound. His brother has always had a knack for spotting his vulernabilities, after all. "I'd hate to be the cause of a ruined evening."
Walking back toward Candlewood, Kili wonders why, indeed, he'd chosen to text his brother (Time for a quick chat?) this evening when he knows very well what will come of the conversation, which is to say nothing but overreactions and Thorin-like huffs of frustration. Courage isn't the only thing either of them had inherited from their uncle, after all. Kili can already anticipate Fili's reaction when he walks through the door, a casual smile in greeting that will quickly give way to comically widened eyes at the sight of the blood soaking through Kili's torn clothing.
The wound isn't dire, though Kili has a fairly skewed vision of dire now that he's already been killed once, a mere cut to his side that had been a result of his own foolishness. He'd left his apartment this evening on what he'd convinced himself would be a lovely, quiet stroll, though he'd armed himself with one knife in each boot and another attached to his belt. He would have brought his bow and arrow but that, he'd decided, would be less justifiable.
He'd come across, as he'd privately hoped, a certain bit of a panic in an alleyway as he'd neared Petros Park--a vampire attacking a young, blonde woman who had reminded him very much of Beth, aside from her muffled cries for help as the creature had aimed to sink its fangs into her neck. As he plans on telling his brother, he'd had no choice but to intervene. He's only gone wrong briefly, taking his eyes off his opponent with his knife wielded in front of him to check on the poor woman, and the vampire had wrenched it from his hand before parrying forward with a swipe of its wrist.
Kili hadn't cried out, for which he is proud, but even after he'd pulled his second knife from his boot to dispose of the creature, he must now admit that he feels just a bit affronted that the woman hadn't even stayed long enough to thank him for his help. He'd been wounded in her name, after all, a name he doesn't even know. He'd taken one look at the cut, grimacing at the sight, and decided that in spite of his stubborn urge to ignore it, the wound needed care.
It comes as no surprise to him that Fili is the first he'd go to for this sort of thing, his brother had always been the one to mend his lesser wounds in the Ered Luin or fetch Oin for the ones he could not properly dress on his own. Their mother, though fretting, would allow it without much other fuss, if only because in his younger years, Kili would screech and writhe unless he'd been under the attentive care of his older brother. Still, he thinks as he waits for the elevator to take him to their floor, he could have gone to Tauriel and kept mum about this entire incident.
But he'd promised no more lies and so, he walks through the door, smiling from ear to ear to distract from the primary reason he's entered so hastily.
"Not busy were you, Fee?" he asks cheerfully, unbuckling his belt and letting it fall loose to the floor, though he makes no effort to hide his wound. His brother has always had a knack for spotting his vulernabilities, after all. "I'd hate to be the cause of a ruined evening."
Fili is alive.
It's all Kili had needed to hear to make him move, and he clutches his rune stone in his fist as he runs through the trees and back to that great expanse of green where he'd woken to those of the race of Men mulling about aimlessly, so unlike what he's doing now. Tauriel had offered an explanation, one that Kili isn't sure he understands because she speaks of a land he does not know, this Darrow that he's never heard of in any stories from his elders, and he'd been certain that she was only a dream, a figment of his own imagination sent to guide him to where he truly belongs, reunited with his brother in the Halls of Waiting until Arda is built again.
She had offered no guidance, at least not the sort he would have expected, but the moment Tauriel had told him she'd seen Fili here, Kili's heart had stopped as surely as if he'd been pierced by Bolg's stake all over again. Later, he might feel a sense of guilt at rushing away from her when she'd expressed such sorrow at seeing him again, both of them sure that the other couldn't be real, but Kili's greatest loyalty has always been to his brother and even in death, that could never change. The stone he holds in his hand had been given to him in exchange for a promise, that he'd return to his mother, and Kili had passed it on to Tauriel in hopes that in the end, both would promises would be fulfilled. He'd failed his mother but now, he makes a new promise, one to his brother that he will find him in this foreign place so that they can be together again. There's an emptiness in Kili, a void that had grown wider from the second he'd seen Fili fall, but the hope of finding his brother alive drives him forward.
Whether Erebor had been reclaimed, he cannot know, but if Kili has been given this chance, a chance to live again with his brother by his side, there is nothing he can do but whatever is in his power to take it. "Run!" Fili had cried, and so Kili does. He won't rest, he'll search every corner of this Darrow if he must, but if Fili is here as Tauriel says, Kili will find him.
It's all Kili had needed to hear to make him move, and he clutches his rune stone in his fist as he runs through the trees and back to that great expanse of green where he'd woken to those of the race of Men mulling about aimlessly, so unlike what he's doing now. Tauriel had offered an explanation, one that Kili isn't sure he understands because she speaks of a land he does not know, this Darrow that he's never heard of in any stories from his elders, and he'd been certain that she was only a dream, a figment of his own imagination sent to guide him to where he truly belongs, reunited with his brother in the Halls of Waiting until Arda is built again.
She had offered no guidance, at least not the sort he would have expected, but the moment Tauriel had told him she'd seen Fili here, Kili's heart had stopped as surely as if he'd been pierced by Bolg's stake all over again. Later, he might feel a sense of guilt at rushing away from her when she'd expressed such sorrow at seeing him again, both of them sure that the other couldn't be real, but Kili's greatest loyalty has always been to his brother and even in death, that could never change. The stone he holds in his hand had been given to him in exchange for a promise, that he'd return to his mother, and Kili had passed it on to Tauriel in hopes that in the end, both would promises would be fulfilled. He'd failed his mother but now, he makes a new promise, one to his brother that he will find him in this foreign place so that they can be together again. There's an emptiness in Kili, a void that had grown wider from the second he'd seen Fili fall, but the hope of finding his brother alive drives him forward.
Whether Erebor had been reclaimed, he cannot know, but if Kili has been given this chance, a chance to live again with his brother by his side, there is nothing he can do but whatever is in his power to take it. "Run!" Fili had cried, and so Kili does. He won't rest, he'll search every corner of this Darrow if he must, but if Fili is here as Tauriel says, Kili will find him.
i saw the light fade from the sky
Dec. 17th, 2014 01:32 amWhen Kili wakes, it's with a whimper.
He gasps for air next, eyes widening with panic as he clutches at his chest, searching for a wound he was quite sure had existed a mere moment ago and one that he cannot find now. Perhaps he'd imagined it, he thinks, though the ache that remains is something he cannot quite explain. He wears his armor but this is not Erebor, not Eren Luid, not even the green of the trees he can see above him can make him believe that he is in Hobbiton; no, it is a place that is entirely unfamiliar, but that is not of his concern, not yet.
"Fili," he grunts through ragged breath, "Fili, I've just had the strangest dream." He pauses, waiting for an answer but frowning when he receives none. "Brother? Nadad?"
Kili reaches a hand out to his side, expecting to be able to shake his brother awake but when he finds only grass beneath his fingers, he finally turns his head to the side to see nothing but empty space beside him. "Nadad?" he calls out again, and it hasn't been often that he's spoken in Khuzdûl on their journey, for it is not meant for anyone but their own to hear, but Kili has already sensed it. As sure as he is that he is now alive, he knows that his brother is not with him. It isn't until Kili sits up that he realizes that he is not, in fact, alone.
There are people around him, Men and women and children, all faces he does not recognize and in strange dress, the likes of which he has never seen. His breathing grows heavy, and it's then that Kili opens the fist still held against his chest to find his stone. The rune stone, the one that his mother had given him, sits as heavy in his hand as the weight of his failure to keep his promise to her does in his mind. Innik dê. Return to me. He hadn't, he won't, and Kili doesn't know by what means the stone has come back to him when he had passed the promise on to another, but he pushes himself to his feet so he can stumble into the nearby wood. He is grateful that those around him seem to pay him so little mind because Kili is certain he could not bear any pity for the tears that escape down his cheeks as his memories of his brother and of Thorin, of Erebor, of Tauriel and his own last moments, come rushing back to him.
( Spoilers for BotFA )
He gasps for air next, eyes widening with panic as he clutches at his chest, searching for a wound he was quite sure had existed a mere moment ago and one that he cannot find now. Perhaps he'd imagined it, he thinks, though the ache that remains is something he cannot quite explain. He wears his armor but this is not Erebor, not Eren Luid, not even the green of the trees he can see above him can make him believe that he is in Hobbiton; no, it is a place that is entirely unfamiliar, but that is not of his concern, not yet.
"Fili," he grunts through ragged breath, "Fili, I've just had the strangest dream." He pauses, waiting for an answer but frowning when he receives none. "Brother? Nadad?"
Kili reaches a hand out to his side, expecting to be able to shake his brother awake but when he finds only grass beneath his fingers, he finally turns his head to the side to see nothing but empty space beside him. "Nadad?" he calls out again, and it hasn't been often that he's spoken in Khuzdûl on their journey, for it is not meant for anyone but their own to hear, but Kili has already sensed it. As sure as he is that he is now alive, he knows that his brother is not with him. It isn't until Kili sits up that he realizes that he is not, in fact, alone.
There are people around him, Men and women and children, all faces he does not recognize and in strange dress, the likes of which he has never seen. His breathing grows heavy, and it's then that Kili opens the fist still held against his chest to find his stone. The rune stone, the one that his mother had given him, sits as heavy in his hand as the weight of his failure to keep his promise to her does in his mind. Innik dê. Return to me. He hadn't, he won't, and Kili doesn't know by what means the stone has come back to him when he had passed the promise on to another, but he pushes himself to his feet so he can stumble into the nearby wood. He is grateful that those around him seem to pay him so little mind because Kili is certain he could not bear any pity for the tears that escape down his cheeks as his memories of his brother and of Thorin, of Erebor, of Tauriel and his own last moments, come rushing back to him.
( Spoilers for BotFA )
