She did not know that it was possible to hurt so. Physical pain she knew. Physical pain she could endure. What she felt now was so far beyond what she thought was possible she could not fathom it. Heart-break did not seem sufficient to convey the depths of her anguish.
It had come upon her suddenly, the memories of events that had not happened to her yet, though she knew they were true all the same. Kili almost dying from the poison and how she saved him. The great dragon Smaug and his death by Bard. Parting with Kili to go with Legolas. The Orc armies. Ravenhill. And Kili. Her Kili.
She choked back another sob as it hurt anew at the memory. Why would this place gift her with such things if not to wound her beyond her ability to heal? What did it gain for so cruelly torturing her with a love gained and lost?
Better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
It was some time until she noticed that her cries of mourning were not the only ones in the forest that day. She was angered, at first, for another daring to intrude on her grief, but her anger quickly gave way to weariness. Tauriel did not have it in her heart to hate another who seemed to be feeling a portion of her own grief.
Numb, she wandered through the forest, only belated realizing that she drew nearer to the sound, so quiet that surely no human years could have heard it. Perhaps because of her own pain she was more sensitive to it, perhaps her grief called out for a companion.
She was still a ways off when she recognized the form of the one sobbing. It was a form she knew all too well, having seen it in visions these past days. It was a form that could not exist in this world. Not like that.
"Eru, what have I done to deserve this?" she gasped. "Why would you show me the one I love? The one that I can never be with. Who would do such a thing?!"
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It had come upon her suddenly, the memories of events that had not happened to her yet, though she knew they were true all the same. Kili almost dying from the poison and how she saved him. The great dragon Smaug and his death by Bard. Parting with Kili to go with Legolas. The Orc armies. Ravenhill. And Kili. Her Kili.
She choked back another sob as it hurt anew at the memory. Why would this place gift her with such things if not to wound her beyond her ability to heal? What did it gain for so cruelly torturing her with a love gained and lost?
Better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
It was some time until she noticed that her cries of mourning were not the only ones in the forest that day. She was angered, at first, for another daring to intrude on her grief, but her anger quickly gave way to weariness. Tauriel did not have it in her heart to hate another who seemed to be feeling a portion of her own grief.
Numb, she wandered through the forest, only belated realizing that she drew nearer to the sound, so quiet that surely no human years could have heard it. Perhaps because of her own pain she was more sensitive to it, perhaps her grief called out for a companion.
She was still a ways off when she recognized the form of the one sobbing. It was a form she knew all too well, having seen it in visions these past days. It was a form that could not exist in this world. Not like that.
"Eru, what have I done to deserve this?" she gasped. "Why would you show me the one I love? The one that I can never be with. Who would do such a thing?!"